Dear Oakes,

I miss you. A lot and all the time. I see you and I miss you. I don't see you and I miss you. Like I said.

All. The. Time.

"Dance Anthem of the 80's" popped up on my iPod. I have been trying to avoid this song. You know why. I hear it and I think of when I showed you the song, sitting on my bed, and you started grooving to it. It got past the beginning "you-ou-ou-ou ah-ah-ah-are so swe-ee-ee-eet" and you got this big smile on your face.

I miss that happy smile. I don't see it anymore. It makes me sad to think that it's possible that it never happens anymore. It has to, right? You can't just stop smiling. It's not like drinking or eating sweets. Not something you can help. It's involuntary. Well, it is when your open to it. Are you not open to it?

Went on a tangent. Pulling it back in. I miss you. But I can't say it. Friends advise against it. I don't know that it's a good idea either. I don't know that I can be what you need, what you deserve. I'm working on it. Maybe someday...you know. If you wanted me back.